Scary Movie Month, Day 4

Dead Silence

When I announced today's choice on Twitter, a few people said "I really wanted to like that one, but it just didn't work for me." I totally get that, mainly because I feel the same way.

After a nicely atmospheric opening (love the choice to use the 1930's Universal logo) things quickly get mired in a mess of clunky exposition and odd character quirks. I liked Detective MarkyMarksBrother (Donnie Mark?) despite that his character was seemingly defined by the fact that he was constantly shaving. No exaggeration, every one of his scenes includes him pulling an electric razor out of his pocket and shaving his chin. Why? Because characterization, I guess? When presented with a killer ventriloquist's dummy movie, your first thought upon finishing it shouldn't be "what brand of razor was he using and why doesn't he just switch because he's clearly not getting the close shave he desires."

There aren't many scares but the ending is aaaaaaalmost batshit crazy enough to warrant a recommendation. I won't spoil anything, but there is a revelation during the climax that is certainly something I've never seen in a movie before. If only the whole movie had been as gleefully silly as that scene it might have been a minor gem. As it stands, it's a misfire. Not bad, but not worth going out of your way to see.

Scary Movie Month, Day 3

Wes Craven's New Nightmare

You know that thing when people say a movie is ahead of its time (™ & © Heather Wixson)? This is the kind of movie they're talking about. While it's not completely successful, this meta exercise in terror really does have a fresh, exciting idea at its core, an idea that I would love to see other franchises tackle as well.

It seems Hollywood has had enough of cranking out Nightmare On Elm Street movies, and when they stop it awakens something evil that torments Heather Langenkamp (star of the original and third Nightmare) and her family. I really love the concept and the way Craven blends the "real" world with the movie world. The last act is a bit problematic for me as it devolves into more of a typical Nightmare movie, but even in that it's still head and shoulders above most of the other entries in the series. Also, while I understand the need to separate the "real" Freddy from the movie Freddy, I'm not a huge fan of Nightmare veteran David Miller's make-up in this one. I like the muted color palette (goofy green hat aside) and even the robo-claw but the overall look is very plastic-y and overdesigned so it makes it difficult to buy Freddy as a real-world threat. Those are just nitpicks, really. It's a clever movie that's definitely worth a look, especially for fans who grew tired of "funny" Freddy.

I wish more franchises would take chances like this and think outside the bun when they're on their seventh entry or so, but alas this made about $30 in theaters ($7 of them mine, I'm proud to say) so it was not to be. Too bad.

Scary Movie Month, Day 2

Witchboard

Reasonably entertaining hokum in which Tawny Kitaen (giving pretty much the performance you expect from her) is tormented by an evil spirit she encounters through a ouija board. She disappears for a surprisingly long stretch as our heroes Hunky Boyfriend and Captain FluffyMullet go hunting for answers, none of which are terribly satisfying.

That being said, there's some fun to be had here. There's an all-too-brief encounter with a valley girl medium, a bit of silliness the movie could have used more of. There are moments when it seems to know what movie it is, followed by moments where it takes itself too seriously. It's entertaining when it embraces how dopey it all is, though.

I'd be remiss not to point out that the climax features one of the absolute best/worst bad-effects sequences I've ever seen, tracking a character falling through a window. Possibly a worse effect than the Barbie doll through the window at the end of the original Nightmare On Elm Street, kind of worth watching the movie just to get that moment.

Scary Movie Month Day 1

Halloween: Resurrection

It's unfair to say that Busta Rhymes gives the worst performance in this movie, because he may well give the worst performance in the entire Halloween series. The dialogue is awful to begin with ("Michael Myers ain't no sound bite!") but not one word out of Busta's mouth at any point in the movie sounds like anything any human being would ever actually say, and even if they would they'd certainly say it more convincingly.

Just because Busta's the worst thing about the movie doesn't mean the rest of it isn't excruciatingly awful too, though. With terrible pacing, no sense of scope (just how big is the Myers house, exactly?), and a busload of shaky-cam bullshit, it's no surprise that this was the last Halloween before the powers that be decided to reboot. Problematic as Rob Zombie's rebootquels are, at least they're interesting and feel like the work of somebody with a vision. This plays like it was written by a focus group: "Kids are into rap and kung fu and reality tv and also the internet is a thing so let's put those in there, who gives a shit if it makes any goddamn sense!"

I thought the series had reached its nadir with the execrable sixth entry (The Curse of Michael Myers), but at least that had a touch of Halloween atmosphere, this one can't even manage that. Pure garbage from top to bottom.

Oh, and a note to whoever came up with "Dangertainment" as the title of the internet show the movie is centered around: you are the worst, and I hate you.

My Favo(u)rite Flavo(u)r Of Cornetto

"We're going to see this through to the bitter end. Or lager end."

There are a select few movies I consider my all-time favorites. The top spot tends to rotate, but there are a handful of movies that are in constant rotation for that top spot. Superman. The Fly (Cronenberg's version). Do The Right Thing. Psycho. The Fisher King. Movies that, for me, are perfect or near-perfect. This is the first time in my life I've found myself adding a movie to that list after living with it for less than a month. That movie has not only shot directly to my all-time favorites list, but may have already become my favorite movie full-stop. That movie is Edgar Wright's masterpiece, The World's End.

As much as I loved the movie, and in particular Simon Pegg's performance in the lead, Pegg's character Gary King scares me a bit. To explain why, a brief autobiographical intrusion: toward the end of my senior year of high school in Baldwin, NY (a town in which I had lived my entire life) my father got a job offer in Florida. My folks put the house on the market, figuring it wouldn't sell until at least summer and then we'd head down to FL. It sold almost immediately, so in March of 1994, with three months to go in my senior year, we moved to another state. After that, I spent a whole lot of time angry (because it's all about me, you understand) and miserable. For the next few years, I was pretty much a Gary King in training. I couldn't let go, I was fairly impossible to be around, and I was thoroughly full of myself. I could so easily have ended up just like Gary that it's a bit terrifying. I almost hate how much I identify with him, but that also helps me to find him endlessly compelling.

I've loved all of Edgar Wright's movies so far, but while I tried to keep my expectations in check for this one it still surprised me just how much I loved it right out of the gate. I've seen the other two "Cornetto" movies several times each, and I'm proud to say I saw Scott Pilgrim 4 times during its theatrical run, a feat for me only equalled by my 4 theatrical screenings of Pulp Fiction. His movies are all so densely layered that I find new things no matter how many times I see them, and though I've only seen The World's End twice now it affected me more profoundly than any movie I can recall. I can't wait to see it again, to dig deeper into it and to poke around the corners. I love so much of what it has to say about nostalgia, about "Starbucking", about putting up fronts, about the things that separate who we are from how we see ourselves.

The great Heath Holland wrote a piece recently on the equally great F This Movie! (fthismovie.net) about a trip he took with his family across Route 66, and so much of what he had to say about "Starbucking" was echoing through my thoughts as I watched The World's End, particularly during my second viewing. All Invasion Of The Bodysnatchers style movies cover the subject to some degree, but it hit me much harder this time, even while working as a very funny aspect of the movie (I've actually taken to thinking of any one of my 30 zillion local Starbucks as "The Old Familiar").

In short (too late, the cast of Clue says in my head), The World's End is that most elusive of creatures, a movie that works as a comedy, as a genre piece, and as a character study that truly has things to say. I don't know that I've ever fallen quite this hard for a movie all at once, and perhaps future viewings may temper that a bit, but right now I'm high on a movie that touched me, and that's my favorite feeling in the world. Thank you, Edgar, and thank you, The Five Musketeers.

Holding It Between My Knees

You know how when people talk about Psycho, all they ever seem to focus on or even remember is the shower scene? Nothing against that scene, it's still undeniably amazing, but the movie has so much more to offer than just a single memorable set piece.

That being said, I'm totally guilty of the same thing regarding Five Easy Pieces. I've seen it a few times before but all that really stuck with me were the infamous diner scene ("I want you to hold it between your knees") and Nicholson playing the piano on the back of the truck. Watching it again last night, it was suddenly a whole new movie. Maybe it's just because I'm older and see an unnerving similarity between the way Nicholson's character behaves to the way I've behaved at certain points in my life. I'm significantly less than proud of that, but it's true, and the movie hit me like the proverbial ton of bricks. It made me sad, but it also made me feel less alone. It was made five years before I was born but still spoke to me as if it was made expressly for me, and any movie that can affect me so powerfully stuns me and lingers in my mind for days afterward.

The other day on Twitter, a guy I follow named Sid put out a series of tweets (since deleted, unfortunately) that talked about how social media has made him feel lonelier, it's made true social interaction more difficult, and he was having a rough moment where he was feeling alone and angry. Reading what he posted helped me feel less alone, because I was feeling very much the same way for a time. His tweets really helped me to gain perspective and feel less socially anxious, and I didn't know why at the time, but they also made me want to watch Five Easy Pieces. When we lost Karen Black yesterday, I decided to revisit Five, and Sid's tweets popped right back in my head. Obviously the movie doesn't directly address social media because it didn't exist at the time, but so much of what it has to say about the way we relate to other people fit with what Sid was talking about. In truth, I don't know if watching it made me feel better or worse, but it sure as hell made me feel and made me think and sometimes that's all we need to start healing. That's part of why I love movies to begin with, they can affect us in the most unexpected ways, and Five Easy Pieces has left me reconsidering the way I've treated certain people in my life and the way I've handled certain situations in my life, and it'll never just be "that movie with the diner scene" again.

Thanks for your help, Sid, even if you didn't know you were helping. I'll totally split the royalties from this blog post with you. What's 50% of 0?

Night Terrors

No idea where the paragraph breaks went in my last post, I swear they were there when I wrote it. In case they disappear from this one after posting, I assure you they're here as I write this one, too!

I'm writing this around 2am with most of the lights in my house on. The lights are staying on, possibly forever. I'm going to forward my electric bill to Scott Derrickson & C. Robert Cargill, because it's their fault I'm not ready to face whatever might be waiting in the dark.

Sinister (directed by Derrickson, co-written by Derrickson & Cargill) is the story of a true-crime author who moves his family to a house with an unsavory past. It's not a haunted house movie, not exactly, nor is it a found footage movie (thank God) but it wisely balances the strongest elements of both. Sinister is the best kind of scary, it's that gets-under-your-skin kind of scary, and it never gets overly graphic or fetishistic in its depiction of violence.

I won't say too much about the plot, only that it involves the aforementioned true-crime author (Ethan Hawke) researching a grisly series of murders with a possibly supernatural bent. There are real surprises in store, and the movie is expertly paced, allowing the tension to ratchet up without sacrificing characterization to spook-house jump-scares. There are several solid jump-scares, but the movie is more interested in doling out the kind of fear that sticks with you long after the credits roll.

Sinister is one of the strongest horror movies of the past few years. Smart and scary are too often seen as mutually exclusive, it's great to see a movie that is both of those things. It's well worth seeking out...just make sure you can afford having to keep all your lights on for quite some time.