Beware! The Blob
This was an attempt to get back to writing about movies I like that have poor reputations, but I ran into a little snag: this movie is fucking terrible. I had fond memories of it, so either my memory is faulty or it just plain hates me.
Larry Hagman directs this dopey, amateurish, aimless, mean-spirited garbage fire of a "sequel" to the 1958 monster classic. There's no need to see the original to follow what's going on here (there is nothing going on here) and I imagine to watch them back-to-back would be akin to chasing a fine single-malt scotch with a warm, expired Yoo-Hoo.
A bit of the frozen Blob is accidentally thawed and goes on to devour everyone and everything in its path, starting with a little kitten because fuck this movie. It goes blobbing around town engulfing bored character actors and assorted bit-players who all have exactly as much personality as the Blob itself. In an attempt to create a setpiece along the lines of the famous movie theater scene from the original, the Blob attacks a bowling alley, which makes for a sequence exactly as low-rent as it sounds.
The movie plays as if it thinks it's a comedy, despite the fact that not a single funny thing happens. You would think an unstoppable mass of murdergoo from outer space would at least provide a couple of decent scares, but the scares are just as effective as the "jokes" (only they're probably more likely to cause laughter). The only thing this movie succeeds at is making the original look even better than it already is. Beware the Blob, indeed.