Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Scary Movie Month Day 1

Halloween: Resurrection

It's unfair to say that Busta Rhymes gives the worst performance in this movie, because he may well give the worst performance in the entire Halloween series. The dialogue is awful to begin with ("Michael Myers ain't no sound bite!") but not one word out of Busta's mouth at any point in the movie sounds like anything any human being would ever actually say, and even if they would they'd certainly say it more convincingly.

Just because Busta's the worst thing about the movie doesn't mean the rest of it isn't excruciatingly awful too, though. With terrible pacing, no sense of scope (just how big is the Myers house, exactly?), and a busload of shaky-cam bullshit, it's no surprise that this was the last Halloween before the powers that be decided to reboot. Problematic as Rob Zombie's rebootquels are, at least they're interesting and feel like the work of somebody with a vision. This plays like it was written by a focus group: "Kids are into rap and kung fu and reality tv and also the internet is a thing so let's put those in there, who gives a shit if it makes any goddamn sense!"

I thought the series had reached its nadir with the execrable sixth entry (The Curse of Michael Myers), but at least that had a touch of Halloween atmosphere, this one can't even manage that. Pure garbage from top to bottom.

Oh, and a note to whoever came up with "Dangertainment" as the title of the internet show the movie is centered around: you are the worst, and I hate you.

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