Cornered!
Remember yesterday when I said I couldn't imagine sitting through a worse movie than 976-EVIL? What a difference a day makes.
Obnoxious characters, awful dialogue, and a pathetically predictable "reveal" make this one of the worst slashers I've had the misfortune to see. There's simply no imagination or ingenuity on display. When I was a kid, my friend Stu & I would make horror movies on his camcorder all the time. Those were less amateur than this mess.
The story follows a group of terrible people locked in a convenience store overnight with a slasher. The worst thing about these people is how slowly they're killed off, even though the movie is only 80-something minutes long. I've never rooted for a killer to murder absolutely everybody before, and I'm a lifelong slasher devotee. I can't think of a single movie with less likable protagonists, even Sleepaway Camp. The extent of their characterization is that the fat guy is constantly eating donuts, because that's all fat guys ever do, right? That's the sort of thing that passes for characterization in this movie, and it's still worse than you're thinking it must be.
It's rare that I have occasion to utter the sentence "Steve Guttenberg should fire his agent," but there you have it. I have tremendous affection for low-budget independent horror, but Cornered! shows that just because you have the tools to put a movie together doesn't mean you have the talent. Or a movie, for that matter.
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