Scary Movie Month 2014, Day 24

V/H/S: Viral

Well, that was underwhelming.

The third entry in the found-footage anthology series is the weakest by a pretty wide margin, which is saying something considering the first two are already not very good. Outside of Gareth Huw Evans & Timo Tjahjanto's excellent "Safe Haven" segment from V/H/S/2 nothing in any of these movies has been particularly scary or satisfying, and this may be the least satisfying entry of all.

This is (thankfully) the shortest of the series, featuring only 3 stories plus the required awful wraparound (waiter, this food is terrible. And such small portions!). The middle story, from time/interdimensional-travel fetishist Nacho Vigalondo is challenging in a good way at first, but quickly devolves into a mess of aliens, infidelity (sorta), and monster genitalia. That said, the brutal note that the story ends on feels earned, making it the only moderately satisfying story in the movie.

The other stories, one about a rogue magician and the other about the most obnoxious skate punks ever committed to film facing off against a Mexican death cult, are more straightforward than Vigalondo's, but neither are terribly compelling. When you find yourself rooting for personality-free Mexican murderskeletons to violently kill the "heroes" of a story, that's probably not a sign of quality work.

As for the wraparound, it's overstuffed and nonsensical almost to the point of parody. Except for one wince-inducing moment involving bare feet on gravel there isn't anything effective in the wraparound. It seems to think that it's making some sort of statement about viral videos and the quest for "fame" surrounding them, but like the rest of the movie it simply has nothing worthwhile to say.

Apparently a fourth story was shot but removed from the film at the last minute. I can't even imagine a story that would be deemed a bad fit for an anthology that already stinks, but I can't deny my curiosity. I still think a found-footage anthology can be done well, even if it hasn't yet (and this entry does away with the found-VHS conceit of the first two almost entirely) so I'm certain I'll still watch it if and when V/H/S/4 comes along. I'm already dreading it, but I'll watch it.